The Heart of Suffering Together: How to Practice Compassion

Dr. Nika White • February 14, 2019

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
– Dalai Lama

The month of February is the month of heart-shaped chocolates, red roses and love songs. For one day of the year, we emphasize how special our loved ones are by way of grand gestures (or little gestures) of heart-felt emotion. But this month I challenge you to go beyond the love letters, the chocolates and the steak dinners. I challenge you to think about what compassion means and how to display compassionate leadership as a way to foster inclusion and belongingness.

As humans, one of the greatest tools we are equipped with is the ability to show compassion. Compassion is an instinct, deeply rooted in our DNA; it has a biological basis in our brain and body. So what is compassion? And how does it help in our ability to become more inclusion-minded?

According to the Greater Good Magazine at UC Berkeley , compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

It therefore seems only natural that compassion helps us in our journey to become more intentionally inclusive . After all, what better way to understand the plight of the one left out? The one that feels like he/she does not belong. The individual who does not feel represented, valued or accepted.

There are benefits to compassion for both those on the giving and receiving end and even those who are witness to it. Besides making the world feel like a friendlier place, here are some tangible benefits that come from the practice of compassion:

  1. It allows us to be more open to hearing and sharing stories. The impact of storytelling is tremendous to our ability to grow as compassionate individuals. When we hear stories, we can witness the pain, joy and concerns of the storyteller, which gives us greater ability to see life from the perspective of the narrator. We can better understand the why behind feelings and actions sensitizing us to want to help and provide support and encouragement. There is power in the narrative and all it takes is an open heart and a listening ear to respond with compassion.
  2. It benefits our brain. According to Dr. Jamil Zaki, a professor of psychology, there is research data that shows that being kind to others registers in the brain as more like eating chocolate than like fulfilling an obligation to do what’s right (e.g., eating brussel sprouts). Brains find it more valuable to do what’s in the interest of the group or others than to do what’s most profitable to self. Being kind and compassionate is not only healthy for relationships, but for brain health as well.
  3. It helps us feel a greater sense of connection. When we practice compassion it makes us realize that we are only one singular activity away from finding ourselves in a situation where we will be in need of someone else (someone else’s understanding, someone else’s grace, someone else’s forgiveness). Practicing compassion allows us to create cultures of belonging, which can only occur through genuine efforts to connect at a deeper level. People can relate to stories in part or in whole. Parents share bedtime stories to their children not simply for the education factor, but because it promotes relationship building, trust and deeper connections.
  4. Compassion begets….more compassion. The more you practice compassion,the more accurate the emphatic centers of your brain become. This domino effect has tremendous ability to enhance relationships and breed a stronger sense of community and support. If you want healthier relationships, try incorporating a more compassionate approach to your leadership style.
  5. Practicing compassion helps people feel more supported. Can you imagine a world (or a workplace!) where everyone felt supported? A compassionate world is a place where people take care of their most vulnerable members, people help other nations in need, and ultimately a compassionate world produces children who perform more acts of kindness. When one feels well supported, they feel included and are able to show up at their best.

Being compassionate is something innate. Something we were born with, and while some may disagree stating being compassionate is only practiced for ulterior motives, I tend to believe humans by nature were born compassionate–but how compassionate are we? Can we improve our level of compassion? Here are some tips in improving our ability to show forth compassion:

  1. Practice mindfulness. Compassion is easier to access if you are more aware of the present moment while it is happening. This is particularly true in the presence of others’ suffering. Mindfulness requires strong situational awareness and emotional intelligence. This level of awareness provides greater propensity to notice when compassion is needed, which should spur us to action.
  2. Practice self-compassion . When you beat yourself up for imperfections you will find it hard to feel compassion towards other people. So before anything else, practice self-compassion first. Forgive yourself of your mistakes fast and frequently. We cannot give from an empty cup.
  3. Get past the “Me” mentality. We live in an “all about me” society. Practice shifting your perspective away from “me” and focus on “others”. By gazing outwards you will notice the things that connect us all as humans.
  4. Hold your judgements. What would you be able to learn if you could hold your judgement long enough to listen? To see? To hear what others are trying to tell you? What if you try to remind yourself every time you want to judge, that everyone is fighting a hard battle and we all are just doing the best we can? Judgements are often fueled by assumptions. Assumptions are often filled with inaccuracies that cause us to input meaning that may contaminate our thoughts about others leading to a less than compassionate response.
  5. Teach the little ones. How else can we ensure compassion gets passed on? By teaching the children, of course . This includes celebrating moments when you witness children showing compassion to others and modeling it for them.

Today, I challenge you to be compassionate, demonstrate the heart of suffering together. Open your heart and mind and cultivate compassion in your daily life. By doing so, you help create a more inclusive world for everyone.

By Nika White February 2, 2026
Culture doesn’t end when the meeting does. It lingers in the body long after the workday is over showing up in dinner conversations, sleep patterns, patience levels, and the quiet exhaustion people struggle to name. We often talk about culture in abstract terms: values, engagement, and belonging. But culture is experienced somatically. It’s how it feels to speak up. How it feels to make a mistake. How it feels to be seen—or overlooked. When work consistently requires people to brace, perform, or self-monitor, the cost doesn’t stay at work. It travels home with them. Reframe Culture is not what organizations intend. It’s what people absorb. And what people absorb shapes how they show up everywhere else. One Grounded Practice Ask yourself: “How do people likely feel at the end of a typical workday with me?” Not how you hope they feel. Not what the values statement says. What their nervous system might carry. This question alone can shift how leaders present themselves in small but meaningful ways. Closing Reflection What might change if culture was measured by what people carry home, not what’s written on the wall? Contextual Depth Signal This lens (culture as lived experience) is central to my work with organizations. When leaders begin here, culture change becomes less performative and far more honest. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
By Nika White January 26, 2026
Before leaders articulate misalignment, the body often registers it first. Sleep disruptions. Tightness before meetings. A low-grade fatigue that doesn’t resolve with rest. These are not failures of resilience. They are signals of adaptation. The nervous system is constantly scanning for safety, threat, and load. When demands exceed capacity, the body adjusts—sometimes through tension, sometimes through withdrawal, sometimes through control. Leadership cultures that reward composure often train people to override these signals. But ignoring the body doesn’t eliminate its intelligence. It just delays the cost. Reframe The body is not an obstacle to leadership. It’s an early warning system. Leaders who learn to listen sooner tend to retain more choices later. One Grounded Practice Once a day, pause and ask: “What sensation is most present in my body right now?” No analysis. No fixing. Just notice. This simple practice builds the muscle of attunement, allowing leaders to respond to strain before it hardens into burnout or reactivity. Closing Reflection What has your body been signaling that your mind has been negotiating with? Contextual Depth Signal This work (helping leaders recognize and respond to bodily signals) is central to how I support sustainable leadership. When leaders trust this form of intelligence, decision-making becomes clearer and cultures become more humane. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
By Nika White January 20, 2026
High-capacity leaders are often rewarded for stretching. Carrying more responsibility. Absorbing more tension. Operating as the stabilizer when systems feel strained. Over time, this becomes identity: I ’m the one who can handle it. But capacity is not limitless and treating it as such eventually erodes judgment, creativity, and relational presence. Honoring capacity is not about doing less; it's about doing more. It’s about leading sustainably. When leaders ignore capacity signals, they don’t just risk burnout; they lose access to discernment. Decisions become reactive. Boundaries blur. The work begins to feel heavier than it should. Reframe Capacity is not a measure of worth. It’s information. And leaders who listen to it lead longer and better. One Grounded Practice This week, experiment with this question: “If I were stewarding my capacity—not spending it—what would change here?” Notice: • Where you’re saying yes by default • Where rest is postponed rather than planned • Where responsibility has quietly become self-abandonment Stewardship is a leadership practice, not a personal failure. Closing Reflection What is your capacity asking of you right now? Contextual Depth Signal In my leadership programs and advisory work, capacity stewardship is treated as a strategic skill—not a personal preference. Leaders who learn to work with capacity create more resilient teams and more humane outcomes. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
By Nika White January 12, 2026
Bracing is one of the most common and least discussed leadership patterns I see. It shows up quietly: A tightening in the chest before a meeting... A subtle urgency in decision-making... A readiness to withstand rather than to engage... Most leaders don’t recognize bracing as something they’re doing. They experience it as who they need to be in order to perform. Bracing becomes synonymous with responsibility, strength, and composure. And yet, bracing is not a leadership trait. It’s a nervous system response. Bracing is what happens when the body senses pressure and prepares to endure it. It’s adaptive. Intelligent. Protective. Especially for leaders who operate in high-stakes environments where mistakes feel costly and steadiness is expected. The problem isn’t bracing itself. The problem is living there. Grounding is the shift that allows leaders to remain connected to themselves while meeting the moment. It doesn’t reduce standards or urgency. It changes how those standards are held. When leaders are grounded: Authority feels embodied, not force Decisions include more discernment and less reactivity Others experience safety without the leader having to perform calm Reframe Bracing narrows leadership capacity. Grounding expands it. This isn’t about eliminating stress. It’s about not allowing stress to hijack presence. One Grounded Practice This week, notice when you brace—not why. Pay attention to: The moment just before a difficult interaction The impulse to speed up or tighten control Physical cues like shallow breath or jaw tension Instead of correcting it, try this: Place one hand on your body (chest, stomach, or thigh) and slow your exhale by two counts. That’s it. Grounding often begins with the body, not the mind.  Closing Reflection Where might grounding serve you better than bracing right now? Contextual Depth Signal This shift—from bracing to grounding—is foundational in my coaching and leadership work. It’s where leaders begin learning how to stay present and authoritative under real pressure, rather than relying on endurance alone. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
By Nika White January 6, 2026
Introductory Issue: A New Chapter (Formerly Inclusion Insider) For several years, Inclusion Insider held space for conversations that needed to happen—about equity, access, belonging, and accountability at work. That work mattered.
 And the world kept moving. What I’ve observed—across boardrooms, leadership teams, workplaces, and communities—is that the challenges leaders are facing now require more than language, policies, or frameworks alone. They require presence. Regulation. Discernment. A deeper understanding of what it means to remain human amidst accelerating change and frequent disruption. The Human Shift reflects the work I’m committed to now. This is not a departure from inclusion.
It is an evolution of it. What This Shift Is About We are living through an era of relentless technological acceleration, heightened expectations, increased pace, and mounting pressure. Strategy is abundant. Information is endless. What’s often missing is the capacity to move through change without bracing, numbing, or losing ourselves. The Human Shift exists to slow the moment just enough to ask better questions. Here, we explore: Leadership through the nervous system Culture through lived experience, not slogans Storytelling as a force for meaning, trust, and change The future of work through a human—not extractive—lens This is a space for sense-making, not soundbites.
 For integration, not urgency.
 For intentional shifts that actually endure. The Human Shift: A Manifesto We are not short on ambition.
 We are short on regulation. We are not lacking tools.
 We are lacking the capacity to use them wisely under pressure. The Human Shift is for leaders who understand that performance without presence is unsustainable. That culture without connection is brittle. That progress without humanity costs more than it gives. Here, emotional regulation is treated as leadership capacity.
Storytelling is treated as infrastructure.
Humanity is treated as a strategic advantage—not a soft add-on. This work honors the truth that the future will not be shaped by those who move the fastest. It will be shaped by those who can remain human while everything moves. That is the shift. What to Expect Here Each issue will offer: A grounded reflection on leadership, culture, or change Insight rooted in lived experience, not performance Language for what many feel but haven’t named Space to reflect—without pressure to “fix” or optimize Some weeks will feel reflective. Others will feel challenging. All are intended to support intentional movement rather than reactive motion. A Closing Reflection If you’ve felt the tension between who you’re expected to be and who you actually are at work…
If you’ve sensed that the next level of leadership requires less force and more presence…
If you’re curious about what becomes possible when we stop bracing and start grounding— You’re in the right place. This shift doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens one intentional shift at a time. In the shift,
 Dr. Nika White
By Nika White December 29, 2025
The holidays are often marketed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many women—especially Black women—this season can feel emotionally demanding, overstimulating, and quietly exhausting. Between workplace pressure, family expectations, financial stress, and the unspoken responsibility to “hold it all together,” the nervous system rarely gets a moment to rest. What we often call holiday stress is actually something deeper: emotional fatigue, chronic activation, and burnout layered on top of an already full year. At Nika White + Company, we believe the holidays don’t have to drain you. They can become a season of intentional softness, regulation, and repair. Why Holiday Stress Hits the Nervous System So Hard Burnout doesn’t start in December, but it often shows up more loudly then. As explored in our Boundless™ Holiday Nervous System Glow-Up guide , the end of the year intensifies triggers already present throughout the year: over-giving, people-pleasing, emotional labor, and survival-mode leadership . When the nervous system stays activated for too long, the body and mind respond with irritability, exhaustion, brain fog, and emotional shutdown. This isn’t weakness. It’s biology. The nervous system is designed to protect us, but it also needs signals of safety, rest, and regulation to function well. Burnout Is Not a Personal Failure—It’s a Signal One of the most harmful myths about burnout is that it’s an individual problem. In reality, burnout is often a response to prolonged pressure without adequate support, boundaries, or recovery. During the holidays, this can show up as: Feeling resentful while still saying “yes” Guilt around resting or spending less Emotional overload in family spaces The pressure to be the “strong one” at work and at home Our work reminds women that strength does not require self-abandonment. Regulation is not indulgent—it’s essential. Micro-Practices That Create Real Relief Sustainable healing doesn’t require a retreat or a complete lifestyle overhaul. Often, it starts with small, intentional nervous system practices that signal safety and choice. From the Boundless™ Holiday Nervous System Glow-Up Guide , a few foundational practices include: Boundary scripts that protect your energy without explanation Leaving early as an act of emotional self-respect Joy-first mornings, even if they last only seven minutes Embodied “no” check-ins, trusting the body’s cues before the mind overexplains Return-to-self breathing, grounding the body when overwhelm rises These practices aren’t about perfection. They’re about permission—permission to choose yourself without apology. This Is What a “Soft Season” Really Means Softness is often misunderstood as weakness. In reality, softness is a regulated nervous system, clear boundaries, and leadership that doesn’t cost you your health. A soft season means: Releasing the need to perform wellness Letting rest be restorative, not earned Choosing aligned generosity instead of guilt-driven overgiving Allowing joy without shrinking yourself to make others comfortable As our guide affirms: Softness is power. Regulation is liberation. How Nika White + Company Supports Healing Beyond the Holidays At NWC, we don’t just talk about burnout; we help individuals, leaders, and organizations address it at the nervous-system level. Through keynote experiences, coaching, and the Boundless™ ecosystem, we support: Burnout recovery and emotional regulation Sustainable leadership and workplace well-being Identity-safe spaces for Black women to rest, heal, and lead differently Long-term nervous system resilience, not just seasonal coping The holidays are often the moment people realize something needs to change. We help ensure that change lasts well into the new year. If this season has left you tired instead of fulfilled, overwhelmed instead of grounded, consider this your invitation to do things differently. This can be your soft season. And you don’t have to navigate it alone.
By Nika White December 29, 2025
High-stress seasons are inevitable. End-of-year deadlines, staffing shortages, organizational change, economic pressure — at some point, every team enters a “crunch time.” What separates great leaders from overwhelmed ones isn’t the absence of stress, but how they respond to it. In moments of pressure, teams don’t just look to leaders for direction — they look to them for regulation. Your nervous system becomes the reference point for everyone else. Stress Is Contagious — So Is Calm When stress is high, emotional states spread quickly. A reactive email, a tense meeting, or a visibly overwhelmed leader can ripple through an entire organization. On the flip side, a grounded, regulated leader can stabilize a team even when circumstances are challenging. Great leaders understand this: How they show up emotionally matters just as much as what they say or do. Emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings or pretending everything is fine. It’s about recognizing internal stress responses and choosing intentional, values-aligned behaviors — especially when pressure is high. What Emotionally Regulated Leadership Looks Like During Crunch Time During high-demand periods, strong leaders consistently demonstrate a few key behaviors: They pause before reacting Instead of responding impulsively, regulated leaders take a breath, assess the situation, and respond thoughtfully. This creates psychological safety and prevents unnecessary escalation. They communicate with clarity and calm Stress often leads to rushed, unclear, or emotionally charged communication. Great leaders slow down, set clear expectations, and speak in ways that reduce confusion rather than amplify it. They normalize stress without normalizing burnout Acknowledging that things are hard builds trust — but regulated leaders also model boundaries, encourage rest, and avoid glorifying exhaustion as a measure of commitment. They stay connected to their values Pressure can pull leaders into fear-based decision-making. Emotionally regulated leaders stay anchored in their values, even when outcomes feel uncertain. They support the nervous systems of their teams This might look like flexibility, realistic timelines, space for check-ins, or simply consistent leadership presence. These small actions signal safety and stability. Why Emotional Regulation Is a Leadership Skill — Not a Personality Trait Many leaders believe emotional regulation is something you either have or you don’t. In reality, it’s a skill that can be learned, strengthened, and practiced. When leaders develop emotional regulation: Decision-making improves Conflict decreases Trust increases Burnout risk lowers Teams feel safer, more engaged, and more resilient Especially during high-stress seasons, this skill becomes essential — not optional. How Nika White + Company Supports Leaders During High-Stress Seasons At Nika White + Company, we help leaders and organizations move beyond survival mode. Our work focuses on building emotional intelligence, nervous system awareness, and sustainable leadership practices that support both performance and well-being. Through workshops, coaching, and strategic consulting, we help leaders: Recognize stress patterns before they escalate Build emotional regulation skills that last beyond “crunch time” Lead with clarity, compassion, and confidence — even under pressure Create healthier, more resilient team cultures High-stress seasons don’t have to result in burnout, disengagement, or breakdowns. With the right support, they can become moments of growth, trust-building, and stronger leadership. Because how you lead during the hardest moments is what your team will remember most.
By Nika White November 6, 2025
We live in a world that celebrates intelligence, speed, and efficiency. We build faster networks, smarter systems, and automated decisions. But in our obsession with external technology, we’ve overlooked the most powerful internal one—emotional regulation. The Moment the Room Lost Its Pulse A few years ago, I was facilitating a meeting with a leadership team in crisis. Tension was thick enough to cut. Voices sharpened, postures stiffened, and eyes darted around like searchlights. As I stood there, I could feel my own nervous system starting to match the room’s anxiety. My pulse quickened. My mind began preparing counterarguments and fixes. The energy was contagious. But then, instinctively, I did something different. I paused. I took a slow, grounded breath. I steadied my tone. I didn’t try to control the room—I regulated myself. Within moments, something shifted. The energy began to soften. The volume dropped. People started breathing again. That day, I realized something profound: The most powerful person in the room isn’t the one who speaks the loudest—it’s the one whose nervous system is the most steady. We’ve Been Measuring the Wrong Technology We tend to think of leadership as a cognitive exercise—a matter of decisions, strategy, and intellect. But if you strip away the titles and spreadsheets, leadership is fundamentally emotional. It’s a continuous exchange of energy between people. Every organization runs on an invisible emotional code. Leaders write this code daily—through their tone, their presence, and their ability to remain calm under pressure. When that code is corrupted by reactivity, fear, or ego, systems break down. When it’s stable, clear, and compassionate, systems thrive. So let’s call it what it is: Emotional regulation isn’t self-help. It’s system design. The Science of Stability Neuroscience tells us that when we regulate our emotions, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for empathy, creativity, and decision-making—stays active. When we don’t, the amygdala hijacks us, sending us into fight, flight, or freeze. Organizational psychology backs this up. Studies from Harvard and MIT indicate that emotionally stable leadership is associated with up to 40% higher team resilience and performance. And emotional contagion theory explains why: emotions spread faster than information. A dysregulated leader transmits anxiety. A regulated leader transmits calm. This is why I developed The Emotional Power Trifecta™: Regulation → Resilience → Authority. Regulation is your ability to stabilize your emotional state in real time. Resilience is how quickly you recover from disruption. Authority is the grounded confidence that follows—leadership that commands respect without demanding control. When practiced intentionally, this trifecta becomes a leadership technology that can be taught, measured, and scaled. The Ripple Effect of Regulation At one of my client organizations—a large manufacturing company—a senior leader was navigating a period of restructuring and layoffs. Morale was low. Fear was high. Instead of reacting from that fear, she began each meeting with a minute of silence. No slides. No pep talks. Just a pause to breathe. That single act of co-regulation changed everything. Her team reported feeling calmer. Turnover dropped. When asked why they stayed, team members gave the same answer: “Because she made the uncertainty feel safe.” She didn’t fix the external conditions. She stabilized the emotional climate. That’s the kind of leadership our systems are starved for. Perspective Begins in the Body Perspective isn’t just a mental exercise—it’s a physiological one. Before we can understand another person’s experience, our nervous system has to feel safe enough to listen. When leaders are dysregulated—when they lead from reactivity, anger, or fear—they literally lose access to empathy. But when they’re grounded, they expand their field of perception. They can hold tension and difference without collapsing. This is the hidden dimension of emotional intelligence. It’s not just about thinking differently—it’s about feeling safely enough to think clearly. What if we stopped defining leadership by intellect and started defining it by nervous system capacity? Because every breakthrough in innovation, equity, and trust begins the same way—with a regulated body, ready to see the world from more than one perspective. The Emotional Epidemic Let’s be honest: we are living in an emotionally contagious era. Burnout is rampant. Division is rising. We scroll through fear and outrage and call it connection. Our collective dysregulation has become the background noise of modern life. If emotional chaos spreads faster than truth, then emotional regulation becomes an act of resistance—a radical form of leadership. Because regulation isn’t just personal—it’s contagious too. When one person steadies, others mirror that state. And slowly, systems heal from the inside out. Power, Rewired The future of leadership won’t be defined by who talks the most or works the hardest. It will be defined by who can stay calm enough to think clearly, listen deeply, and hold complexity without collapsing. When women lead with emotional authority, we don’t make power softer—we make it smarter. We make it safe. Because emotional regulation is not self-care—it’s system care. It’s the antidote to burnout, bias, and disconnection. It’s how we humanize power. So the question isn’t: Can we regulate? It’s: What becomes possible when we do? When we master our emotions, we don’t just change how we lead—we change what leadership feels like. The future belongs to the emotionally regulated. Closing Reflection In an age obsessed with artificial intelligence, perhaps the most transformative innovation will be authentic intelligence—our capacity to stay grounded, empathetic, and coherent in the midst of chaos. Because no algorithm can regulate emotion. Only a human being can do that. And when we learn how, we don’t just advance technology—we evolve it. Emotional regulation is the future of sustainable leadership—and it’s a future we can build together. If this message resonates with you, if you’re ready to lead from steadiness instead of stress, I invite you to connect with our Emotionally Regulated Leader Community of Practice (CoP) —a space for leaders, innovators, and changemakers who are redefining power through presence. Together, we’re not just talking about emotional intelligence. We’re practicing it—systemically, courageously, and in community.
By Nika White September 24, 2025
In a compelling Intentional Conversation Vodcast, Dr. Nika White and career success coach Jenn Tardy explored the emotional and professional hurdles people face in the workforce. The discussion, centered on the urgent need to humanize the workplace, offered profound insights on everything from personal stories to economic equity. The Power of Personal Stories and "Lived Experience Intelligence" Jenn Tardy, author of the new book The Equity Edge, champions a shift away from purely technical recruitment and retention practices. She and Dr. White argue for infusing personal narratives into how companies train recruiters and hiring managers. Tardy shared the deeply personal story of her father, who, despite his skills and decades of experience, was denied promotions because he lacked a college degree. She emphasized the emotional toll of such systemic barriers, explaining that her father's struggles fuelled her commitment to equity. This "lived experience intelligence"—the unique insights gained from navigating systemic challenges—was a central theme. Both speakers agreed that these personal stories are not just anecdotes; they are invaluable assets that foster innovation and understanding within an organization. Addressing Economic Disparities The conversation also tackled the stark economic realities faced by Black women, noting a worrying trend of job losses for this group while white men see gains. While Tardy suggested entrepreneurship as a potential path for those who are displaced, both women were quick to clarify that it's not a complete solution. They stressed that entrepreneurship cannot fully solve the problem without also dismantling the persistent systemic barriers that create the disparity in the first place. Dr. White provided a powerful personal example of how her family is proactively addressing this issue. She shared her practice of holding "family board meetings" to teach her children about wealth, investing, and entrepreneurship from a young age, thereby setting them up for financial success in a world where these opportunities are often denied to Black families. Nurturing the "Nurturers" in DEI Work Dr. White and Tardy also highlighted the critical, often invisible, work of "nurturers"—those who support and advocate for others, particularly in the DEI space. They discussed the significant emotional labor these individuals undertake and the importance of protecting their well-being. This segment served as a poignant reminder that those who champion equity also need care and support. Their conversation was a powerful call to action, encouraging everyone to continue their DEI efforts despite current societal pushback. By valuing human connection and recognizing the unique wisdom that comes from personal stories and lived experience, we can work towards a more empathetic and equitable future for all. Intentional Conversations is a weekly podcast by Nika White Consulting that intersects diversity, equity, and inclusion dialogue with leadership and business. Click here to register to attend the live sessions each Friday from 11 a.m. to 12 noon EST. You may also search archives to view replays of past episodes, or you can listen to the Intentional Conversations Podcast on your favorite platform.
By Nika White September 16, 2025
In a recent Intentional Conversations Vodcast, leadership expert Dr. Nika White and organizational effectiveness guru Shayla N. Atkins discussed what it truly means to be a modern leader. They explored the evolving landscape of work, the importance of genuine connection, and how we can all redefine success in a human-centered way. Beyond the Buzzwords: The Future of Leadership Is Human The conversation kicked off with the idea that the future of work isn't some distant concept—it's already here. With hybrid workplaces and AI becoming the norm, the skills we once called "soft" are now essential for effective leadership. Shayla referenced the World Economic Forum's report on future jobs, emphasizing that a human-centered approach prioritizes individual growth is no longer a luxury but a necessity. Drawing from her extensive experience, Shayla noted that authentic leadership isn't about conforming to a mold; it's about aligning with your core values. This alignment isn't just a feel-good concept—it directly impacts a team's effectiveness and an individual's well-being. Redefining Resilience: It's Not a Badge of Honor A powerful part of the conversation was the shift in perspective on resilience. Dr. White and Shayla challenged the common, and often toxic, idea that resilience is a prize for those who can endure the most stress or work the longest hours. Instead, they redefined it as a strategic, proactive practice. Shayla explained that true resilience involves strategic planning and proactive recovery measures. She suggested a simple but powerful tool: conducting a "stress inventory" to anticipate high-stress periods and prepare for them. She also advocated for things like rotating breaks and adjusting decision-making protocols to build a resilient workplace culture. Dr. White added to this by introducing the concept of "regenerative strength," which encourages leaders to recognize early signs of stress and prioritize rest before burnout sets in. The Power of Vulnerability and Support The conversation also delved into why leaders, especially women, are often reluctant to seek help. They pointed out that societal expectations often frame vulnerability as a weakness. Dr. White and Shayla argued for a fundamental shift in this mindset, stressing the importance of a culture that normalizes asking for help and fosters genuine connection among peers. Shayla also shared insights from her book, Black Women Lead with Spice , and her SPICE framework (Savvy, Performance, Image, Communication, and Exposure). This framework helps underrepresented women navigate their careers by emphasizing skills like communication and savvy, which are crucial for translating qualifications into leadership roles. The dialogue between Dr. White and Shayla served as a powerful reminder that modern leadership is not about managing metrics alone. It's about connecting with people, understanding their unique needs, and building a culture where authenticity and regenerative strength are valued over persistence and overwork. It’s a call to action for leaders to lead with their hearts as much as their minds. Intentional Conversations is a weekly podcast by Nika White Consulting that intersects diversity, equity, and inclusion dialogue with leadership and business. Click here to register to attend the live sessions each Friday from 11 a.m. to 12 noon EST. You may also search archives to view replays of past episodes, or you can listen to the Intentional Conversations Podcast on your favorite platform.