Trigger Warning: Triggers are Your Responsibility
Nika White • May 16, 2023
In 2021, I was scrolling through my LinkedIn feed
when I stumbled upon a photo that stopped me in my tracks. It was a medical-style depiction of a pregnant woman holding an infant baby in her stomach. Instead of the typical white or fair-skinned mother and child depiction that we often see in medical textbooks, I saw a dark-skinned woman and fetus. The depiction was created by Nigerian medical student and illustrator, Chidiebere Ibe, who was seeking a more diverse representation of this natural process.
The internet went wild. While some people praised it as a win for a more diverse representation of childbearing, others were triggered by it. At first, I wondered, what could be so triggering about seeing a common depiction of a woman’s body carrying a fetus. When I thought more about it, I realized this single illustration could be triggering people for a multitude of reasons.
In our current political climate regarding reproductive rights, seeing a fetus in a womb can be triggering for many people. It can be triggering for those who are unable to bear children or who struggle with fertility issues. It could be triggering for those who had a child but recently lost them. It could also be triggering for folks who are uncomfortable with discussing the body and its natural functions. For whatever reason, this image evoked both joy and discomfort at the same time.
For the people who found joy, representation, and pride in this image, they basked in the ambiance. For those who were triggered, their roars raged on, arguably louder than a simple illustration should have warranted. So, if you are a person who is easily triggered by something you see or something that’s said, perhaps it's time to go deeper.
The rise of trigger warnings
Trigger warnings have changed the diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) landscape. When difficult topics came up in the past, people may have been confronted by uncomfortable feelings that had to be delt with, often times without warning.
But in the late 1990s, “trigger warning” as a term began to surface on feminist internet message boards and, thus, found its way into common discourse. Nowadays, before talking about a potentially traumatic topic like sexual violence, self-harm, or other forms of violence, you should mention a trigger warning, or “TW” for short.
These days, people are quick to raise the “trigger flag “ and say that someone harmed or traumatized them. But there’s also room for the person who is triggered to take responsibility, own their trigger, and work to heal it.
Owning our triggers
What brings one person joy, triggers another person. But who is responsible for managing the feelings of being triggered? The person who shares a photo of a black fetus in a womb? Or the person looking at and responding to the image?
We’re at a turning point where we all need to acknowledge what triggers us and find ways to address those triggers within ourselves. To me, this is an important line of demarcation. Those who are constantly triggered may want to ask themselves, “Is it time for me to take responsibility for my triggers?” Or “is it time for me to go to therapy and address the traumatic situations from my past?” I would implore us to explore and analyze how personal triggers affect others in the room and how we can work through them to be more mindful members of our community.
More often than not, our triggers are unhealed parts of ourselves that keep coming up to haunt us every time a related topic emerges. But how do we effectively make sure we’re aware that a potentially triggering message may be coming and prepare ourselves while simultaneously allowing others to experience joy and happiness in the moment?
To me, there’s not enough focus on individual accountability for healing triggers. While shared accountability has its place (more on that in the next section), it can feel unfair and unrealistic to make everyone else responsible for shouldering another person's triggers. So, where’s the balance between healing ourselves, warning others, and holding space for another person’s joy?
The power of shared accountability
While no one is perfect and we all carry trauma with us, there’s room for shared accountability when it comes to triggers. Individuals own their trauma while communities can be aware of them and exercise caution and compassion. This is isn’t the same as saying “trigger warning” and then watching the community back away, it’s about saying “TW” and watching the community lean in. To embrace someone in compassion at that moment, to not alienate them, but to understand and affirm them.
People who have experienced trauma have to feel safe to disclose vulnerable information, like when they were a victim in a moment of violence or were treated unfairly. It takes strength and vulnerability to say, “this is triggering to me”, but once the trigger is communicated, the person on the receiving end should have enough awareness and sensitivity to act with compassion.
As mentioned earlier, one person’s trigger is another person’s joy, so sharing accountability and being sensitive to someone’s trauma doesn’t dismiss one’s own need and desire for joy and celebration. We can be compassionate to others and focused on our joy at the same time. The ask for shared accountability is to simply be aware of the potential impacts a triggering scenario may have on someone who experienced pain or trauma while still maintaining your personal experience in the moment.
Final thoughts
Triggers are real, and for decades issuing “trigger warnings” was the most thoughtful and kind way to address difficult topics with those who may have experienced trauma in the past. While not everyone shares the same traumas, there’s room for individuals to work through them and begin the healing process, while others have the opportunity to balance sensitivity and compassion with personal joy and happiness.
My observation has been that one person’s joy is another person’s trigger, and as we navigate this world together, we should be mindful of those who are not feeling tortured or triggered and let them feel good in the moment. And those of us feeling triggered should embark on the personal journey to seek professional help and work through our traumas.
We should all be able to experience joy without having to tiptoe around another person’s long-term, unhealed trauma. When we’re able to co-exist with trauma and heal in a way where everyone feels they can live their full experience in peace, then we can turn the page on building more compassionate communities and discussing the topics that trigger and inspire us.
The rise of trigger warnings
Trigger warnings have changed the diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) landscape. When difficult topics came up in the past, people may have been confronted by uncomfortable feelings that had to be delt with, often times without warning.
But in the late 1990s, “trigger warning” as a term began to surface on feminist internet message boards and, thus, found its way into common discourse. Nowadays, before talking about a potentially traumatic topic like sexual violence, self-harm, or other forms of violence, you should mention a trigger warning, or “TW” for short.
These days, people are quick to raise the “trigger flag “ and say that someone harmed or traumatized them. But there’s also room for the person who is triggered to take responsibility, own their trigger, and work to heal it.
Owning our triggers
What brings one person joy, triggers another person. But who is responsible for managing the feelings of being triggered? The person who shares a photo of a black fetus in a womb? Or the person looking at and responding to the image?
We’re at a turning point where we all need to acknowledge what triggers us and find ways to address those triggers within ourselves. To me, this is an important line of demarcation. Those who are constantly triggered may want to ask themselves, “Is it time for me to take responsibility for my triggers?” Or “is it time for me to go to therapy and address the traumatic situations from my past?” I would implore us to explore and analyze how personal triggers affect others in the room and how we can work through them to be more mindful members of our community.
More often than not, our triggers are unhealed parts of ourselves that keep coming up to haunt us every time a related topic emerges. But how do we effectively make sure we’re aware that a potentially triggering message may be coming and prepare ourselves while simultaneously allowing others to experience joy and happiness in the moment?
To me, there’s not enough focus on individual accountability for healing triggers. While shared accountability has its place (more on that in the next section), it can feel unfair and unrealistic to make everyone else responsible for shouldering another person's triggers. So, where’s the balance between healing ourselves, warning others, and holding space for another person’s joy?
The power of shared accountability
While no one is perfect and we all carry trauma with us, there’s room for shared accountability when it comes to triggers. Individuals own their trauma while communities can be aware of them and exercise caution and compassion. This is isn’t the same as saying “trigger warning” and then watching the community back away, it’s about saying “TW” and watching the community lean in. To embrace someone in compassion at that moment, to not alienate them, but to understand and affirm them.
People who have experienced trauma have to feel safe to disclose vulnerable information, like when they were a victim in a moment of violence or were treated unfairly. It takes strength and vulnerability to say, “this is triggering to me”, but once the trigger is communicated, the person on the receiving end should have enough awareness and sensitivity to act with compassion.
As mentioned earlier, one person’s trigger is another person’s joy, so sharing accountability and being sensitive to someone’s trauma doesn’t dismiss one’s own need and desire for joy and celebration. We can be compassionate to others and focused on our joy at the same time. The ask for shared accountability is to simply be aware of the potential impacts a triggering scenario may have on someone who experienced pain or trauma while still maintaining your personal experience in the moment.
Final thoughts
Triggers are real, and for decades issuing “trigger warnings” was the most thoughtful and kind way to address difficult topics with those who may have experienced trauma in the past. While not everyone shares the same traumas, there’s room for individuals to work through them and begin the healing process, while others have the opportunity to balance sensitivity and compassion with personal joy and happiness.
My observation has been that one person’s joy is another person’s trigger, and as we navigate this world together, we should be mindful of those who are not feeling tortured or triggered and let them feel good in the moment. And those of us feeling triggered should embark on the personal journey to seek professional help and work through our traumas.
We should all be able to experience joy without having to tiptoe around another person’s long-term, unhealed trauma. When we’re able to co-exist with trauma and heal in a way where everyone feels they can live their full experience in peace, then we can turn the page on building more compassionate communities and discussing the topics that trigger and inspire us.
High-capacity leaders often step in before others struggle. They refine the message. They fix the slide. They solve the problem before it fully forms. The intention is almost always supportive. But the impact accumulates differently. When leaders consistently intervene early, teams stop developing judgment. Initiative declines. And the leader’s workload increases—not because the team lacks ability, but because the team lacks ownership. Control rarely announces itself as control. It appears helpful. Earlier in The Human Shift, Capacity Is Not Infinite , we discussed capacity as information. Control is often a response to leaders sensing the system might falter and unconsciously compensating. The leader becomes the stabilizer. And stabilizers eventually become exhausted. Reframe Support strengthens capability. Preemption weakens it. One Grounded Practice The next time a team member brings you a solvable problem, pause before offering a solution and ask: “What options are you considering?” Then wait. Do not refine immediately. Do not redirect quickly. Allow their thinking to complete before yours begins. Leadership capacity grows when others experience themselves as capable. Closing Reflection Where might your helpfulness be preventing someone else’s development? Contextual Depth Signal In organizational advisory work, many leadership bottlenecks are not skill issues but ownership issues. When leaders shift from solving to supporting thinking, both performance and energy improve. In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. Where do you feel most necessary right now—and is it because of structure or habit?
Many leaders live in a state of readiness they no longer notice. They check messages before standing up in the morning. They anticipate disagreement before a conversation begins. They prepare responses before anyone finishes speaking. At first, this feels like responsibility. Over time, it becomes physiology. The body learns to expect interruption, so it stops settling. Attention shortens. Everything begins to feel slightly time-sensitive—even when it isn’t. This isn’t only about workload. It’s about nervous system posture. Earlier in The Human Shift, The Shift from Bracing to Grounding , we explored bracing—the body preparing to endure pressure. Constant readiness is a quieter version of the same pattern. Leaders aren’t reacting to the present demand. They’re reacting to a predicted one. And prediction changes perception. When leaders remain perpetually ready, they begin interpreting more situations as urgent than they actually are. Conversations compress. Listening becomes strategic instead of receptive. Discernment narrows. Reframe Urgency is not always information. Sometimes it is anticipation that the body hasn’t updated yet. One Grounded Practice Today, before responding to a non-emergency message or request, pause for one full breath cycle. Not to delay action. To confirm necessity. Notice: • Did the situation actually require speed? • Or did your body simply expect it? Grounding begins by distinguishing immediacy from importance. Closing Reflection Where in your leadership are you responding to expectation rather than reality? Contextual Depth Signal In my coaching work, leaders often discover their decision fatigue is less about volume and more about constant readiness. When urgency is recalibrated, clarity returns quickly—without reducing responsibility. In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. What in your work currently feels urgent—and what might simply be asking for your presence?
Inclusion Isn’t Exhausting—Disconnection Is: Why fatigue around inclusion often signals something deeper than disagreement When people say they’re tired of inclusion work, they are rarely describing values. They are describing an experience. Often it sounds like resistance on the surface. But beneath it, something more specific is happening: Disconnection from meaning. From impact. From each other. Sometimes from themselves. Inclusion becomes exhausting when it is treated as an initiative rather than an environment. When language expands but daily experience doesn’t change. When expectations increase faster than people’s capacity to understand or embody them. The effort then feels performative instead of relational. Earlier in The Human Shift, Culture Is What People Carry Home We explored how inclusion fatigue often emerges when people cannot locate inclusion in lived interactions—only in messaging. Without experience, even well-intended work begins to feel like compliance. The fatigue isn’t coming from caring too much. It’s coming from not knowing where caring actually lands. Reframe Fatigue is not a failure of values. It is a signal of misalignment. And misalignment does not ask for abandonment. It asks for reconnection. One Grounded Practice Instead of asking, “How do we do inclusion better?” ask: “Where are people most disconnected right now?” Listen specifically for: moments people feel unseen moments people feel cautious speaking moments effort does not match impact This shifts the conversation from strategy to experience—and experience is where inclusion either exists or does not. Closing Reflection If inclusion were measured by everyday interactions instead of organizational intention, what would you notice first? Contextual Depth Signal In my equity and leadership advisory work, organizations often regain momentum not by adding new initiatives but by reconnecting daily behavior with stated purpose. When inclusion becomes experiential rather than instructional, energy returns quickly. In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. Where in your environment right now does inclusion feel most like a requirement—and where does it feel like belonging?
Under pressure, leaders tell stories quickly. About intent. About risk. About who can be trusted. About what’s possible. These stories shape behavior long before policies or plans do. Often, they go unexamined solidifying into assumptions that guide decisions and culture quietly. Reframe Stories don’t just explain reality. They create it. Especially in moments of uncertainty. One Grounded Practice The next time tension rises, ask: “What story am I telling myself right now—and what story might someone else be telling?” This question opens space for curiosity instead of certainty. Closing Reflection What story is guiding your leadership right now—and does it still serve? Contextual Depth Signal Working with leadership narratives (especially under pressure) is a core part of my coaching and facilitation work. When stories shift, behavior often follows. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
Many leaders associate accountability with discomfort—and assume that discomfort is necessary for change. But there’s a difference between discomfort that leads to growth and shame that leads to withdrawal. Shame narrows attention. It triggers defensiveness. It interrupts learning. And yet, many accountability practices rely on it—often unintentionally. True accountability doesn’t require humiliation or fear. It requires clarity, dignity, and repair. Reframe Accountability is not about control. It’s about alignment. And alignment happens best when people feel safe enough to stay present. One Grounded Practice Before offering feedback, pause and ask: “Is my goal correction, or connection that allows correction to land?” This shift often changes: Tone Timing Impact Accountability rooted in dignity sustains trust rather than eroding it. Closing Reflection Where might accountability become more effective if shame were removed from the equation? Contextual Depth Signal This distinction is foundational in how I support leaders navigating performance and culture. Accountability without shame strengthens trust and resilience—especially in moments that matter most. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
Culture doesn’t end when the meeting does. It lingers in the body long after the workday is over showing up in dinner conversations, sleep patterns, patience levels, and the quiet exhaustion people struggle to name. We often talk about culture in abstract terms: values, engagement, and belonging. But culture is experienced somatically. It’s how it feels to speak up. How it feels to make a mistake. How it feels to be seen—or overlooked. When work consistently requires people to brace, perform, or self-monitor, the cost doesn’t stay at work. It travels home with them. Reframe Culture is not what organizations intend. It’s what people absorb. And what people absorb shapes how they show up everywhere else. One Grounded Practice Ask yourself: “How do people likely feel at the end of a typical workday with me?” Not how you hope they feel. Not what the values statement says. What their nervous system might carry. This question alone can shift how leaders present themselves in small but meaningful ways. Closing Reflection What might change if culture was measured by what people carry home, not what’s written on the wall? Contextual Depth Signal This lens (culture as lived experience) is central to my work with organizations. When leaders begin here, culture change becomes less performative and far more honest. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
Before leaders articulate misalignment, the body often registers it first. Sleep disruptions. Tightness before meetings. A low-grade fatigue that doesn’t resolve with rest. These are not failures of resilience. They are signals of adaptation. The nervous system is constantly scanning for safety, threat, and load. When demands exceed capacity, the body adjusts—sometimes through tension, sometimes through withdrawal, sometimes through control. Leadership cultures that reward composure often train people to override these signals. But ignoring the body doesn’t eliminate its intelligence. It just delays the cost. Reframe The body is not an obstacle to leadership. It’s an early warning system. Leaders who learn to listen sooner tend to retain more choices later. One Grounded Practice Once a day, pause and ask: “What sensation is most present in my body right now?” No analysis. No fixing. Just notice. This simple practice builds the muscle of attunement, allowing leaders to respond to strain before it hardens into burnout or reactivity. Closing Reflection What has your body been signaling that your mind has been negotiating with? Contextual Depth Signal This work (helping leaders recognize and respond to bodily signals) is central to how I support sustainable leadership. When leaders trust this form of intelligence, decision-making becomes clearer and cultures become more humane. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
High-capacity leaders are often rewarded for stretching. Carrying more responsibility. Absorbing more tension. Operating as the stabilizer when systems feel strained. Over time, this becomes identity: I ’m the one who can handle it. But capacity is not limitless and treating it as such eventually erodes judgment, creativity, and relational presence. Honoring capacity is not about doing less; it's about doing more. It’s about leading sustainably. When leaders ignore capacity signals, they don’t just risk burnout; they lose access to discernment. Decisions become reactive. Boundaries blur. The work begins to feel heavier than it should. Reframe Capacity is not a measure of worth. It’s information. And leaders who listen to it lead longer and better. One Grounded Practice This week, experiment with this question: “If I were stewarding my capacity—not spending it—what would change here?” Notice: • Where you’re saying yes by default • Where rest is postponed rather than planned • Where responsibility has quietly become self-abandonment Stewardship is a leadership practice, not a personal failure. Closing Reflection What is your capacity asking of you right now? Contextual Depth Signal In my leadership programs and advisory work, capacity stewardship is treated as a strategic skill—not a personal preference. Leaders who learn to work with capacity create more resilient teams and more humane outcomes. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
Bracing is one of the most common and least discussed leadership patterns I see. It shows up quietly: A tightening in the chest before a meeting... A subtle urgency in decision-making... A readiness to withstand rather than to engage... Most leaders don’t recognize bracing as something they’re doing. They experience it as who they need to be in order to perform. Bracing becomes synonymous with responsibility, strength, and composure. And yet, bracing is not a leadership trait. It’s a nervous system response. Bracing is what happens when the body senses pressure and prepares to endure it. It’s adaptive. Intelligent. Protective. Especially for leaders who operate in high-stakes environments where mistakes feel costly and steadiness is expected. The problem isn’t bracing itself. The problem is living there. Grounding is the shift that allows leaders to remain connected to themselves while meeting the moment. It doesn’t reduce standards or urgency. It changes how those standards are held. When leaders are grounded: Authority feels embodied, not force Decisions include more discernment and less reactivity Others experience safety without the leader having to perform calm Reframe Bracing narrows leadership capacity. Grounding expands it. This isn’t about eliminating stress. It’s about not allowing stress to hijack presence. One Grounded Practice This week, notice when you brace—not why. Pay attention to: The moment just before a difficult interaction The impulse to speed up or tighten control Physical cues like shallow breath or jaw tension Instead of correcting it, try this: Place one hand on your body (chest, stomach, or thigh) and slow your exhale by two counts. That’s it. Grounding often begins with the body, not the mind. Closing Reflection Where might grounding serve you better than bracing right now? Contextual Depth Signal This shift—from bracing to grounding—is foundational in my coaching and leadership work. It’s where leaders begin learning how to stay present and authoritative under real pressure, rather than relying on endurance alone. In the shift, Dr. Nika White
Introductory Issue: A New Chapter (Formerly Inclusion Insider) For several years, Inclusion Insider held space for conversations that needed to happen—about equity, access, belonging, and accountability at work. That work mattered.
And the world kept moving. What I’ve observed—across boardrooms, leadership teams, workplaces, and communities—is that the challenges leaders are facing now require more than language, policies, or frameworks alone. They require presence. Regulation. Discernment. A deeper understanding of what it means to remain human amidst accelerating change and frequent disruption. The Human Shift reflects the work I’m committed to now. This is not a departure from inclusion.
It is an evolution of it. What This Shift Is About We are living through an era of relentless technological acceleration, heightened expectations, increased pace, and mounting pressure. Strategy is abundant. Information is endless. What’s often missing is the capacity to move through change without bracing, numbing, or losing ourselves. The Human Shift exists to slow the moment just enough to ask better questions. Here, we explore: Leadership through the nervous system Culture through lived experience, not slogans Storytelling as a force for meaning, trust, and change The future of work through a human—not extractive—lens This is a space for sense-making, not soundbites.
For integration, not urgency.
For intentional shifts that actually endure. The Human Shift: A Manifesto We are not short on ambition.
We are short on regulation. We are not lacking tools.
We are lacking the capacity to use them wisely under pressure. The Human Shift is for leaders who understand that performance without presence is unsustainable. That culture without connection is brittle. That progress without humanity costs more than it gives. Here, emotional regulation is treated as leadership capacity.
Storytelling is treated as infrastructure.
Humanity is treated as a strategic advantage—not a soft add-on. This work honors the truth that the future will not be shaped by those who move the fastest. It will be shaped by those who can remain human while everything moves. That is the shift. What to Expect Here Each issue will offer: A grounded reflection on leadership, culture, or change Insight rooted in lived experience, not performance Language for what many feel but haven’t named Space to reflect—without pressure to “fix” or optimize Some weeks will feel reflective. Others will feel challenging. All are intended to support intentional movement rather than reactive motion. A Closing Reflection If you’ve felt the tension between who you’re expected to be and who you actually are at work…
If you’ve sensed that the next level of leadership requires less force and more presence…
If you’re curious about what becomes possible when we stop bracing and start grounding— You’re in the right place. This shift doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens one intentional shift at a time. In the shift,
Dr. Nika White
