Trigger Warning: Triggers are Your Responsibility
Nika White • May 16, 2023
In 2021, I was scrolling through my LinkedIn feed
when I stumbled upon a photo that stopped me in my tracks. It was a medical-style depiction of a pregnant woman holding an infant baby in her stomach. Instead of the typical white or fair-skinned mother and child depiction that we often see in medical textbooks, I saw a dark-skinned woman and fetus. The depiction was created by Nigerian medical student and illustrator, Chidiebere Ibe, who was seeking a more diverse representation of this natural process.
The internet went wild. While some people praised it as a win for a more diverse representation of childbearing, others were triggered by it. At first, I wondered, what could be so triggering about seeing a common depiction of a woman’s body carrying a fetus. When I thought more about it, I realized this single illustration could be triggering people for a multitude of reasons.
In our current political climate regarding reproductive rights, seeing a fetus in a womb can be triggering for many people. It can be triggering for those who are unable to bear children or who struggle with fertility issues. It could be triggering for those who had a child but recently lost them. It could also be triggering for folks who are uncomfortable with discussing the body and its natural functions. For whatever reason, this image evoked both joy and discomfort at the same time.
For the people who found joy, representation, and pride in this image, they basked in the ambiance. For those who were triggered, their roars raged on, arguably louder than a simple illustration should have warranted. So, if you are a person who is easily triggered by something you see or something that’s said, perhaps it's time to go deeper.
The rise of trigger warnings
Trigger warnings have changed the diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) landscape. When difficult topics came up in the past, people may have been confronted by uncomfortable feelings that had to be delt with, often times without warning.
But in the late 1990s, “trigger warning” as a term began to surface on feminist internet message boards and, thus, found its way into common discourse. Nowadays, before talking about a potentially traumatic topic like sexual violence, self-harm, or other forms of violence, you should mention a trigger warning, or “TW” for short.
These days, people are quick to raise the “trigger flag “ and say that someone harmed or traumatized them. But there’s also room for the person who is triggered to take responsibility, own their trigger, and work to heal it.
Owning our triggers
What brings one person joy, triggers another person. But who is responsible for managing the feelings of being triggered? The person who shares a photo of a black fetus in a womb? Or the person looking at and responding to the image?
We’re at a turning point where we all need to acknowledge what triggers us and find ways to address those triggers within ourselves. To me, this is an important line of demarcation. Those who are constantly triggered may want to ask themselves, “Is it time for me to take responsibility for my triggers?” Or “is it time for me to go to therapy and address the traumatic situations from my past?” I would implore us to explore and analyze how personal triggers affect others in the room and how we can work through them to be more mindful members of our community.
More often than not, our triggers are unhealed parts of ourselves that keep coming up to haunt us every time a related topic emerges. But how do we effectively make sure we’re aware that a potentially triggering message may be coming and prepare ourselves while simultaneously allowing others to experience joy and happiness in the moment?
To me, there’s not enough focus on individual accountability for healing triggers. While shared accountability has its place (more on that in the next section), it can feel unfair and unrealistic to make everyone else responsible for shouldering another person's triggers. So, where’s the balance between healing ourselves, warning others, and holding space for another person’s joy?
The power of shared accountability
While no one is perfect and we all carry trauma with us, there’s room for shared accountability when it comes to triggers. Individuals own their trauma while communities can be aware of them and exercise caution and compassion. This is isn’t the same as saying “trigger warning” and then watching the community back away, it’s about saying “TW” and watching the community lean in. To embrace someone in compassion at that moment, to not alienate them, but to understand and affirm them.
People who have experienced trauma have to feel safe to disclose vulnerable information, like when they were a victim in a moment of violence or were treated unfairly. It takes strength and vulnerability to say, “this is triggering to me”, but once the trigger is communicated, the person on the receiving end should have enough awareness and sensitivity to act with compassion.
As mentioned earlier, one person’s trigger is another person’s joy, so sharing accountability and being sensitive to someone’s trauma doesn’t dismiss one’s own need and desire for joy and celebration. We can be compassionate to others and focused on our joy at the same time. The ask for shared accountability is to simply be aware of the potential impacts a triggering scenario may have on someone who experienced pain or trauma while still maintaining your personal experience in the moment.
Final thoughts
Triggers are real, and for decades issuing “trigger warnings” was the most thoughtful and kind way to address difficult topics with those who may have experienced trauma in the past. While not everyone shares the same traumas, there’s room for individuals to work through them and begin the healing process, while others have the opportunity to balance sensitivity and compassion with personal joy and happiness.
My observation has been that one person’s joy is another person’s trigger, and as we navigate this world together, we should be mindful of those who are not feeling tortured or triggered and let them feel good in the moment. And those of us feeling triggered should embark on the personal journey to seek professional help and work through our traumas.
We should all be able to experience joy without having to tiptoe around another person’s long-term, unhealed trauma. When we’re able to co-exist with trauma and heal in a way where everyone feels they can live their full experience in peace, then we can turn the page on building more compassionate communities and discussing the topics that trigger and inspire us.
The rise of trigger warnings
Trigger warnings have changed the diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) landscape. When difficult topics came up in the past, people may have been confronted by uncomfortable feelings that had to be delt with, often times without warning.
But in the late 1990s, “trigger warning” as a term began to surface on feminist internet message boards and, thus, found its way into common discourse. Nowadays, before talking about a potentially traumatic topic like sexual violence, self-harm, or other forms of violence, you should mention a trigger warning, or “TW” for short.
These days, people are quick to raise the “trigger flag “ and say that someone harmed or traumatized them. But there’s also room for the person who is triggered to take responsibility, own their trigger, and work to heal it.
Owning our triggers
What brings one person joy, triggers another person. But who is responsible for managing the feelings of being triggered? The person who shares a photo of a black fetus in a womb? Or the person looking at and responding to the image?
We’re at a turning point where we all need to acknowledge what triggers us and find ways to address those triggers within ourselves. To me, this is an important line of demarcation. Those who are constantly triggered may want to ask themselves, “Is it time for me to take responsibility for my triggers?” Or “is it time for me to go to therapy and address the traumatic situations from my past?” I would implore us to explore and analyze how personal triggers affect others in the room and how we can work through them to be more mindful members of our community.
More often than not, our triggers are unhealed parts of ourselves that keep coming up to haunt us every time a related topic emerges. But how do we effectively make sure we’re aware that a potentially triggering message may be coming and prepare ourselves while simultaneously allowing others to experience joy and happiness in the moment?
To me, there’s not enough focus on individual accountability for healing triggers. While shared accountability has its place (more on that in the next section), it can feel unfair and unrealistic to make everyone else responsible for shouldering another person's triggers. So, where’s the balance between healing ourselves, warning others, and holding space for another person’s joy?
The power of shared accountability
While no one is perfect and we all carry trauma with us, there’s room for shared accountability when it comes to triggers. Individuals own their trauma while communities can be aware of them and exercise caution and compassion. This is isn’t the same as saying “trigger warning” and then watching the community back away, it’s about saying “TW” and watching the community lean in. To embrace someone in compassion at that moment, to not alienate them, but to understand and affirm them.
People who have experienced trauma have to feel safe to disclose vulnerable information, like when they were a victim in a moment of violence or were treated unfairly. It takes strength and vulnerability to say, “this is triggering to me”, but once the trigger is communicated, the person on the receiving end should have enough awareness and sensitivity to act with compassion.
As mentioned earlier, one person’s trigger is another person’s joy, so sharing accountability and being sensitive to someone’s trauma doesn’t dismiss one’s own need and desire for joy and celebration. We can be compassionate to others and focused on our joy at the same time. The ask for shared accountability is to simply be aware of the potential impacts a triggering scenario may have on someone who experienced pain or trauma while still maintaining your personal experience in the moment.
Final thoughts
Triggers are real, and for decades issuing “trigger warnings” was the most thoughtful and kind way to address difficult topics with those who may have experienced trauma in the past. While not everyone shares the same traumas, there’s room for individuals to work through them and begin the healing process, while others have the opportunity to balance sensitivity and compassion with personal joy and happiness.
My observation has been that one person’s joy is another person’s trigger, and as we navigate this world together, we should be mindful of those who are not feeling tortured or triggered and let them feel good in the moment. And those of us feeling triggered should embark on the personal journey to seek professional help and work through our traumas.
We should all be able to experience joy without having to tiptoe around another person’s long-term, unhealed trauma. When we’re able to co-exist with trauma and heal in a way where everyone feels they can live their full experience in peace, then we can turn the page on building more compassionate communities and discussing the topics that trigger and inspire us.
Read more from The Human Shift on Substack, where I share long-form essays on leadership, culture, and how we work and live.
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