10 Lessons To Learn (And Unlearn) To Foster Inclusion

Dr. Nika White • February 15, 2021

The lessons you’ve learned from your friends, family, and colleagues about DEI can either make or break your inclusion efforts. That’s because not every lesson is helpful towards fostering real inclusion. In fact, there are quite a few lessons to unlearn that can significantly change the outcome of your efforts.

Learning new ideas and unlearning old ones can help you stay agile and up-to-date on what can move the needle for DEI in your organization. Here are 10 lessons to learn (and unlearn) to foster inclusion.

1. UNLEARN that inclusion is an obligation. Instead, think of it as an opportunity.

Many organizations approach DEI as an obligation, a check-list, or something to accomplish in a few weeks or months. This mindset is limiting your organization’s ability to foster true inclusion. Unlearn the idea that inclusion is a constant struggle and uphill battle. Doing so can minimize the frustration you experience when attempting to do DEI work.

Instead, learn to see inclusion as an opportunity to develop a skill, sensitivity, and compassionate approach to leadership and business. It’s an opportunity for an organization to stand out and up for the people who work with and for it. It’s an opportunity to develop new ideas and get voices at the table that would otherwise be silent.

If you find yourself asking this question: “what can I do to advance DEI?” (obligation mindset). Try asking this question instead: “what can DEI do to advance my organization and society?” (opportunity mindset).

2. LEARN to allow people to show up authentically without compromising your core values.

There’s the notion that if you allow employees, coworkers, and staff to show up fully and authentically at work, the company values may be compromised. But the truth is, your values are your values and they should remain a solid foundation for the people you work with to latch onto and get behind.

The values of your company shouldn’t stifle the ability of workers to show up authentically. Workers should still be able to express honesty, share their lived experiences, passions, and anticipations without overstepping the company’s values.

The key is to hire people that uphold your organization’s values, while also adding their unique and authentic contribution to the culture.

3. UNLEARN the idea that inclusion is solely the responsibility of those who carry the title of Diversity Officer or HR Professional.

Fostering inclusion is more than just a title, it’s a leadership competency. Having an inclusive mindset is a leadership skill that can influence people at all levels of the organization. Any staff member can foster an inclusive mindset by modeling inclusion in the workplace and holding themselves accountable for its success and execution. Diversity officers and HR professionals are there to spearhead DEI initiatives but everyone in the organization should carry the work forward.

If your organization is looking to practice better communication, conflict resolution, and other inclusive skills, developing buy-in for inclusion work can be a helpful strategy to advance DEI. You can do this by decentralizing all of the inclusion work on the shoulders of diversity and HR professionals and distributing the responsibility for its execution throughout the company.

4. LEARN the difference between equality and equity.

The two terms: equality and equity, are often conflated. They’re not the same.

If equality is the end goal, equity is the means. The challenge with equality is that it doesn’t take into account that people are coming from different starting points. That means what each individual needs to be successful on the team can vary from person to person. An equity lens recognizes that the distribution of power, resources, and support must be distributed based on individual needs. Not a blanket distribution where everyone gets the same thing, no matter their unique situation.

In layman’s terms, equality is like giving everyone a shoe, and equity is giving everyone a shoe that fits. Being intentional in equity work is important. The more we can start to move our organizations towards equity, the closer we get to seeing a meaningful outcome in DEI.

5. UNLEARN that diversity is skin deep.

When we think of DEI, we often think of race, gender, and physical ability. Diversity is much broader than that.

There are plenty of identities that constitute diversity, many of which are invisible to the eye. For example, sexual preference, spiritual beliefs, and mental disabilities.

In order to foster more inclusion, we need to be more sophisticated about how we define diversity and to keep in mind that it’s not just about optics. It’s about creating an environment where people with different visible (and invisible) identities can feel seen, heard, and included.

6. LEARN that biases aren’t solely in people, they’re also in processes and systems.

Institutional discrimination and systematic lack of inclusion are big players in the conversation on DEI. Although individuals may hold biases, they’re ultimately reinforced by processes and systems that are inherently exclusive.

Part of fostering more inclusion in the workplace is running audits and assessments of your company’s culture, processes, and systems. By undergoing an audit, you can better understand how and why people are perpetuating exclusive and discriminatory behavior in the workplace. When you look underneath the hood, you’re able to see the institutional causes of exclusion and discrimination and work towards solving them.

By repealing, reevaluating, and reimaging those structures, the organization can create more inclusive processes and systems that foster inclusion for years to come.

7. UNLEARN that political correctness is the only way to navigate conversations around DEI.

Tip-toeing around the topic of DEI out of the fear of offending a fellow staff member is a common practice these days. The fear of making mistakes or saying the wrong thing can lead many people to avoid DEI conversations and efforts altogether.

These fears are real. But they shouldn’t stop your organization from addressing DEI issues. Creating a brave space, not a politically correct space, around DEI can allow your organization to peel back the layers of underlying issues and begin to cultivate effective communication.

Facing the fear by acting out of bravery, engaging in conversation, and asking questions can help foster inclusion. These are signs of authentic allyship and a commitment to inclusion even in the face of discomfort.

8. LEARN that inclusion isn’t about activity, it’s about impact.

Many companies get stuck in the hamster wheel of hosting regular DEI events and activities while believing that those singular actions are going to make a big impact. Activities like one-off workshops and meetings are a good start but won’t help your organization achieve lasting change.

Working towards DEI and cultivating it in your organization is a journey, not a destination. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. It takes consistent, dedicated, and deliberate effort to turn one-off sessions into on-going conversations, actions, and initiatives that create real impact in the organization.

9. UNLEARN that diversity means difference and difference is good, bad, right, or wrong.

There’s an idea that having a diverse workforce is inherently “good” or “bad”, “right”, or “wrong”.

Some people get offended by the idea of diversity because they see it as something that’s dividing the organization, rather than unifying it.

Unlearn the idea that diversity is black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. Diversity is a grey area with its own strengths and challenges. It’s worth reframing diversity and inclusion as a unifying asset to the organization rather than a good or a bad thing.

10. LEARN to acknowledge your power and privilege and use it to honorably help someone else.

Power and privilege are sticky topics for some people. Many don’t want to acknowledge they have power and privilege that they didn’t earn. The fact remains that power and privilege can reach beyond the confines of race, income, or gender. They can encompass many areas like physical ability, whether you grew up in a two-parent household, your education level, and so on.

Unlearn that power and privilege are solely confined to whiteness, richness, or the male gender. Learn that if you want to be a more effective ally, acknowledging your personal privilege is essential. And then, use your power to help others is an impactful way to foster inclusion.

I can help you learn and unlearn these lessons.

As a diversity consultant, I’ve helped dozens of organizations like yours foster inclusivity from the inside out. In just 60 minutes , we can discuss and strategize about your organization’s DEI plans and goals. Or, I can coach your executive team and foster lasting change that can be felt from top to bottom. Whatever your goals are for fostering an inclusive, diverse workplace, contact me and my team to guide you on your journey.

Read more from The Human Shift on Substack, where I share long-form essays on leadership, culture, and how we work and live.

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Before Culture Changes, Climate Changes Every lasting culture shift begins in everyday interactions

By Nika White • October 12, 2026
Organizations spend a lot of time talking about culture. Mission statements. Values. Leadership competencies. Strategic plans. All of those have a place. But culture doesn't change because new language appears on a website or because a new initiative is announced. Culture begins changing much earlier than that. It changes when people experience something different. A meeting where they feel heard. A leader who responds with curiosity instead of defensiveness. A difficult conversation that ends with greater trust instead of greater distance. A mistake that becomes an opportunity to learn instead of something to hide. Earlier in The Human Shift, we've explored trust, presence, silence, repair, pace, and leadership aftermath. They may seem like separate ideas, but they all point to the same truth. Before culture shifts, emotional climate shifts. People begin feeling safer. More connected. More willing to contribute. More willing to tell the truth. Culture follows those experiences. A Reframe Culture isn't built one initiative at a time. It's built one interaction at a time. One Simple Practice At the end of this week, don't ask yourself, "What did I accomplish?" Ask, "What kind of environment did I help create for the people around me?" Notice what comes to mind. What This Looks Like In Practice A leadership team spends months discussing ways to improve collaboration. Instead of launching another initiative, they begin with a commitment. Every leader will become more intentional about listening, repairing conversations, slowing unnecessary urgency, and making it safer for people to speak honestly. Six months later, employees describe the culture differently. Not because the organization changed overnight. Because the experience of working there changed first. Question to Consider If culture is built through everyday interactions, what kind of culture are your interactions creating today? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. What's one small leadership habit you believe has the biggest impact on culture?

Emotional Memory Outlasts Organizational Memory - People Forget Many Meetings. They Rarely Forget How They Consistently Felt.

By Nika White • October 5, 2026
Think about a leader who had a lasting impact on you. You probably remember a few things they said. You almost certainly remember how it felt to work with them. Maybe you felt trusted. Maybe you felt anxious every time they called. Maybe you felt challenged in a way that helped you grow. Maybe you felt like you were constantly trying to avoid disappointing them. That emotional memory stays with us much longer than most organizational moments. Earlier in The Human Shift, we explored the leadership aftermath and the emotional tone leaders leave behind. Over time, those individual experiences become something much larger. They become the stories people tell about what it was like to work there. That's one of the ways culture is built. Not through one memorable event. Through repeated emotional experiences. A Reframe People don't remember every interaction. They remember the pattern those interactions created. One Simple Practice Think about someone you lead. Complete this sentence: "When this person thinks about working with me, I hope they remember feeling..." Don't overthink it. Write the first word that comes to mind. Then ask yourself whether your daily interactions support that hope. What This Looks Like In Practice A leader asks several team members what they appreciate most about working together. None of them mention strategy. None of them mention goals. Every response describes an experience. "I know you'll listen." "I always leave our conversations feeling clearer." "I know where I stand." The leader realizes those experiences have become part of the team's culture. Question to Consider If someone reflected on working with you five years from now, what feeling would you hope they remember most? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. When you think about the best leader you've ever worked with, what feeling comes to mind first?

The Pace People Borrow From You. Your Team Notices Your Rhythm More Than Your Schedule

By Nika White • September 28, 2026
Leaders often influence pace without realizing it. The speed of your responses. The urgency in your voice. How quickly you move from one meeting to the next. How often you say, "We need this right away." People notice. Then they adjust. Earlier in The Human Shift, we explored the tension between speed and clarity . Pace is different from productivity. Pace is the emotional rhythm people begin to adopt simply by working around you. If everything feels urgent to you, it eventually feels urgent to everyone else. A Reframe People don't just respond to your priorities. They respond to your pace. One Simple Practice Before beginning your next meeting, ask yourself, "What pace does this conversation actually need?" Not every discussion deserves urgency. Some deserve room to think. What This Looks Like In Practice A leader starts opening meetings with sixty seconds of quiet before diving into discussion. At first it feels unusual. Within a few weeks, people arrive more focused, interrupt each other less, and make decisions with greater confidence. The work isn't slower. It's steadier. Question to Consider If someone matched your pace every day, what would their work experience feel like? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. What pace are you setting that others may be quietly adopting?

Repair Builds More Trust Than Perfection - People rarely expect flawless leaders. They do remember honest ones.

By Nika White • September 21, 2026
Every leader gets it wrong sometimes. A conversation comes across differently than intended. A decision has unintended consequences. Someone leaves feeling overlooked. The mistake itself isn't usually what determines trust. What happens next often does. Earlier in The Human Shift, we explored leadership aftermath and the emotional tone people carry after interactions. Repair is one of the most powerful ways to change that aftermath. It communicates something every healthy culture needs to hear. "We can acknowledge what happened without pretending it didn't." A Reframe Trust isn't built because mistakes never happen. It's built because people know they won't be ignored when they do. One Simple Practice Think about one recent interaction that doesn't sit quite right. Reach back out. A simple, "I've been thinking about our conversation, and I'd like to check in," can reopen trust. What This Looks Like In Practice A leader realizes she interrupted a team member several times during a meeting. The next morning she stops by his office. "I don't think I gave your perspective enough space yesterday. I'd like to hear the rest of your thoughts." The conversation lasts ten minutes. The impact lasts much longer. Question to Consider What conversation might be waiting for a repair instead of an explanation? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. Has someone ever repaired a conversation with you in a way you'll never forget?

Curiosity Changes the Climate - Why questions often move people further than answers

By Nika White • September 8, 2026
Many leaders feel pressure to have answers. It's understandable. People look to leaders for direction, especially when things feel uncertain. But some of the most influential leaders I've worked with ask better questions instead of giving faster answers. Questions create space. Answers often close it. Earlier in The Human Shift, we explored how people respond to a leader's presence before they respond to their words . Curiosity creates a different kind of presence. It tells people their perspective matters before a solution is ever offered. A Reframe The goal isn't to have the smartest answer. The goal is to create the kind of conversation where better thinking becomes possible. One Simple Practice The next time someone brings you a challenge, resist solving it immediately. Instead ask, "What do you think is most important for us to understand before we decide what to do?" Then listen. What This Looks Like In Practice A manager walks into a meeting ready to solve a recurring team issue. Instead of offering her recommendation first, she invites the team to share what they're noticing. The conversation uncovers a pattern no one had previously connected. The solution becomes stronger because more people helped build it. Question to Consider Do people leave conversations with you feeling like they contributed or simply received direction? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. When was the last time a thoughtful question changed your perspective?

Permission Is Always Being Given- Leaders communicate more through behavior than instruction

By Nika White • August 31, 2026
Leaders often wonder why their teams aren't doing more of something. Speaking up. Collaborating. Taking initiative. Thinking creatively. The answer is sometimes found in the everyday moments that seem unrelated. People pay attention to what leaders actually do. If a leader says they value reflection but never slows down, people learn that speed matters more. If a leader encourages honest feedback but becomes defensive when receiving it, people learn that honesty has limits. If a leader talks about work-life balance but sends emails late into the evening, people learn what the real expectation is. Earlier in The Human Shift, we explored unspoken expectations . Most cultures are shaped less by formal messages than by repeated observations. A Reframe Whether you realize it or not, you're always giving people permission. The question is what you're giving them permission to do. One Simple Practice Complete this sentence: "My team probably believes it's okay to..." Write down the first answer that comes to mind. Then ask yourself whether your behavior has been teaching that lesson intentionally. What This Looks Like In Practice A leader tells her team they don't need to respond after hours. Then she notices she's emailing at 10:30 every night. She schedules those messages to send the next morning instead. Nothing about the policy changes. Everything about the signal does. Question to Consider If people copied your leadership habits exactly, what kind of culture would they create? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. What's one behavior of yours that may be communicating more loudly than your words?

What Your Team Is Learning From Your Reactions - Every response teaches people what feels safe

By Nika White • August 24, 2026
People pay attention to what leaders celebrate. They pay even closer attention to what leaders react to. A frustrated sigh. A quick interruption. An impatient email. A defensive response to feedback. None of these moments seem particularly significant on their own. But people are always learning from them. They begin to understand which questions are welcome. Which mistakes feel risky. Which conversations require extra caution. Earlier in The Human Shift, we explored how silence often becomes a cultural signal. Silence rarely appears without first being taught what feels safe to say. Your reactions become part of that lesson. A Reframe People don't simply hear your expectations. They study your reactions. One Simple Practice The next time someone brings you unexpected news, resist the urge to respond immediately. Take one slow breath. Become curious before becoming corrective. That small pause often changes the entire conversation. What This Looks Like In Practice A team member admits she made an error that will delay a project. Instead of immediately asking how it happened, the leader asks, "Tell me what you've learned so far." The conversation shifts from self-protection to problem-solving. The mistake still gets addressed. The person doesn't leave feeling like the mistake defines them. Question to Consider What have your reactions been teaching people lately? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. If someone made a mistake today, would they feel comfortable bringing it to you quickly?

The Emotional Tone You Leave Behind - Why people often remember the feeling more than the conversation

By Nika White • August 17, 2026
Most leaders spend a lot of time thinking about what they're going to say. They prepare for difficult conversations. They organize their thoughts. They choose their words carefully. All of that matters. But long after people forget the details of the conversation, they usually remember something else. They remember how they felt. Did they leave feeling encouraged? Did they leave feeling smaller? Did they leave feeling trusted? Did they leave feeling like they had to be careful? Earlier in The Human Shift, we explored the idea of leadership aftermath. What people carry after interacting with you shapes culture in ways that are easy to overlook because they happen quietly. Most leaders don't intentionally create emotional tone. They create it anyway. A Reframe Every interaction leaves something behind. The question isn't whether you're shaping the emotional climate. It's what you're leaving in it. One Simple Practice At the end of your next one-on-one meeting, don't evaluate what you said first. Instead ask yourself: "If I were on the other side of that conversation, how would I describe how it felt?" Notice what comes to mind before you analyze it. What This Looks Like In Practice A leader finishes a performance conversation feeling relieved because she finally addressed a difficult issue. Later that day she asks herself how the conversation may have felt for the employee. She realizes she spent most of the meeting explaining expectations and very little time asking questions. The next conversation feels different because she changes the experience, not just the message. Question to Consider When people leave a conversation with you, what do you hope they carry with them? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. Think about a leader you've never forgotten. What do you remember most: what they said or how they consistently made you feel?

When People Stop Bringing You Problems - Why This Isn't Always a Sign of Progress

By Nika White • August 10, 2026
Leaders often celebrate when complaints decrease. Concerns become less frequent. Questions slow down. Conflict seems to disappear. Sometimes that's a sign of growth. Sometimes it's a sign that people have stopped bringing things forward. Earlier in The Human Shift, When Teams Stop Telling You Things , we explored silence as a cultural signal. Silence is not always agreement. Sometimes it is adaptation. People learn what feels worth raising. What feels safe to discuss. What is likely to go nowhere. A Reframe A lack of problems does not automatically mean a healthy culture. One Simple Practice Ask someone you trust: "What is something people may be hesitant to tell me?" Listen without defending. What This Looks Like In Practice A leader notices fewer concerns being raised in meetings. Instead of assuming everything is fine, she creates space for honest conversation. What emerges isn't crisis. It's information that had simply been waiting for a safer place to surface. Question to Consider What information might be missing from the conversations you're having? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. When people disagree with you, do they usually tell you?

The Difference Between Being Busy and Being Engaged Why Activity Can Sometimes Hide Disconnection

By Nika White • August 4, 2026
Many people end the day feeling exhausted. Their calendar was full. Their inbox was active. Their attention was constantly moving. Yet when asked what mattered most about the day, they hesitate. Activity and engagement are not the same thing. One creates motion. The other creates meaning. Earlier in The Human Shift, The Subtle Drift Into Disconnection, we explored how disconnection often develops through small moments. One of those moments occurs when activity becomes so constant that reflection disappears. A Reframe Being busy answers the question, "What did I do?" Being engaged answers the question, "What mattered?" One Simple Practice At the end of the day, ask yourself: "What was the most meaningful moment today?" Write down the answer. What This Looks Like In Practice A leader begins ending each workday with a short reflection. After a few weeks, she notices that the moments she remembers most are rarely the busiest ones. They're the conversations. The insights. The moments of connection. Question to Consider If someone asked what mattered most about your day yesterday, what would you say? In the shift, Dr. Nika White P.S. What is one meaningful moment from this week that you don't want to forget?