6 Reasons why people get triggered on mother's day and how to be mindful

6 Reasons Why People Get Triggered On Mother’s Day And How To Be Mindful

Mother’s Day is a holiday that many people don’t get to celebrate. It’s a time when some remember how and why motherhood can be complex, challenging, and even triggering. Fractured interpersonal relationships, past traumas, and shame can all come up for someone on this holiday. So, before wishing every person in your life a Happy Mother’s Day, do consider the following situations where Mother’s Day can be a triggering topic.

People who have lost children.
The loss of a child is something that can scar any parent. Remembering the loss of a child on Mother’s Day can bring up uncomfortable and traumatic memories. For those who have experienced this, Mother’s Day may feel more like a day to grieve rather than to celebrate. Be mindful and kind to those who have lost children on this Mother’s Day.

People who can’t have children.
Infertility and the inability to have children is another stinging topic for many people. There are women who have tried every possible avenue to bring a child into the world, but for whatever reason, it hasn’t come to fruition. It’s important to know that infertility can cause many to feel shame and sadness, especially on Mother’s Day. Be mindful of those who want to be mothers some day, but are unable to do so.

People who have lost mothers.
Many people don’t have their mother on this Mother’s Day. For some, Mother’s Day is a day to grieve, to remember, and to reflect on who their mother was in the world. Not everyone wishes to celebrate outwardly on this day. So, it’s important to be mindful about saying Happy Mother’s Day to everyone you see. Not everyone is in celebration.

People with strained mother relationships.
It could be the case that a person’s mother is still in the world, but the relationship is strained. Bringing up Mother’s Day can reopen a wound or cause a trigger that reminds someone of their presently strained relationship with their mother. Relationships are complicated and sometimes distance is what helps someone manage the challenging relationship they have with a parent. On Mother’s Day, be mindful that not everyone has a positive relationship with their mother at this time.

People who have chosen not to be mothers.
Many women in the world have chosen not to be mothers for good reason. Some women are happy with their choice to live without the experience of motherhood for personal, social, financial, and cultural reasons. Be conscious of how women around the world are asked and pressured by their family, friends, culture, and society to become mothers and why some women have chosen to take the path that’s best for them.

People who are shamed for being mothers.
There are women who have become mothers and they, too, may experience shame on Mother’s Day. Being a stay at home mom is work. It’s a type of labor that is often underpaid and unacknowledged. Some mothers feel shame about staying at home, being the primary caregiver of the family, and not having much time or space to pursue their own interests and desires. It’s important to be mindful that not every mother feels joyous on Mother’s Day and the daily demands of motherhood may be something that some mothers are uncomfortable with rather than celebratory of.

Final thoughts
For those who wish to say Happy Mother’s Day to everyone this weekend, try to thank a mother for her contributions instead. Listen to a woman who has chosen not to have children and seek to understand her reasons. Comfort a friend who is experiencing a strained relationship with their mother or have recently lost someone.

For companies, consider reevaluating your maternity and paternity leave policy for new parents. Think about if your company has policies that support women who are experiencing infertility or are struggling with having children. Reflect about whether children can accompany a mother to the workplace if needed. What can your company do to offer more compassion and empathy for the many complex situations that motherhood can bring?

And for all, move mindfully and with consideration this Mother’s Day. You never know what someone is going through, but the best thing to do is to tread lightly and offer kindness to a woman in your life.